About

Hi, I’m Maya

I’m 38 and I live in Portland. I used to be a marketing project manager. Now I’m a freelance copywriter, which mostly means I read fine print for a living.

I’ve been dating, on and off, for 14 years. That’s two long relationships and one divorce, at 34.

The short version of my story

I was married for nine years. Nobody cheated. We just stopped being curious about each other, and I was loneliest on the couch right next to him. I filed. He was relieved. We’re cordial now. No regret, some grief.

My first year back, I treated dating like a job search. 31 dates, a spreadsheet, and I cried in the car 19 times. It took me about fourteen months to stop auditioning. Two things I wrote in my notebook that year:

Fine is the problem.

And: sweet is not a personality. Sweet is a default setting.

Why this site exists

At 35 I paid a matchmaker $200 for a 90-minute intake. Her roster was eleven men, seven of them over 60. I was told “the men your age don’t hire matchmakers.” She followed up twice and offered me a $4,800 six-month package. I said no. She wasn’t a scammer. She was a nice woman running a business that didn’t fit me.

Then a friend paid $6,000 for a package and got four introductions and no refund, because her contract allowed substitutions, not refunds.

So I started keeping notes: what things cost, what the contracts say, which questions get a straight answer and which get a sales pitch. This site is that notebook, cleaned up.

What I am and what I’m not

I don’t hold any coaching, counselling or matchmaking certification. Everything here comes from my own experience and from research, and I link the sources so you can check me.

What I believe

• The biggest mistake women make is treating dating like a performance review.
• Being alone isn’t a failure state. It’s a room.
• Coaches are useful for accountability and structure. If a coach tells you to manipulate, run.
• Matchmakers are a luxury service. Anything over a few hundred dollars a month should come with references and a refund policy.

The things I could talk about all night: boundaries, attachment styles, chemistry versus compatibility, dating after divorce, and being single without panic.

How the site works

Every guide answers one question, with prices and contract terms linked to where they came from and the date I checked. If you want help, the form on most pages books a free consultation with me. I coach online, so it doesn’t matter where you live. Read how we get paid and our editorial policy for the details.

If something here is wrong or out of date, tell me on the contact page. I’d rather fix it than be right.