The first year back
After my divorce I treated dating like a job search. 31 dates, a spreadsheet, and I cried in the car 19 times. It took about fourteen months to stop auditioning.
“Fine is the problem.”
Maya’s dating notebook
Dating Coach
…or a matchmaker? Let’s figure out which one you actually need.
A dating coach helps you change how you date. A matchmaker finds the dates for you. I’m Maya, a dating coach. I’ll show you what each one costs and what to check before you pay.
Or skip to what you’re dealing with:
- Just divorced
- Dating after 50
- Worried it’s a scam
- What does it cost?
- Reading a contract
- Coach or therapist?
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Hi, I’m Maya, a dating coach.
I’m 38, I live in Portland, and I’ve been dating on and off for 14 years, with two long relationships and a divorce at 34 along the way. This site is my notebook, cleaned up. It has the prices, the contract terms and the questions I wish I’d asked before I paid anyone. I coach online, so wherever you are, the first consultation is free.
Start here
Where do you want to start?
Work on youA dating coachHelp with your profile and the patterns you keep repeating. You still go on the dates yourself.Dating coach near me →Someone searches for youA matchmakerSomeone who screens people and introduces you. It costs more, so read the contract first.Matchmaking services near me →Near youBy cityLocal providers I checked, with their published prices where they have them.Browse by city →
The basics
What does a dating coach do?
A dating coach helps you change how you date. You still go on the dates yourself, and there’s homework in between.
What coaching covers
- Your profile, your photos and your first messages
- Who you pick, and the pattern you keep repeating
- Boundaries, and how to say no without a speech
- Attachment styles, and chemistry vs compatibility
- Dating after a divorce or a long relationship
Who it helps most
- You can name the problem, and you’re willing to practice.
- You get first dates but rarely second ones.
- You’re back after years away, and the apps feel strange.
- You want someone to hold you to a plan for a few months.
A coach won’t find you a partner. If you want someone to search for you, that’s a matchmaker, and the matchmaker vs dating coach guide explains the difference. A coach also isn’t trained to treat anxiety or old trauma, so read dating coach vs therapist if dating stirs that up. The long answer is in what a dating coach does.
How it works
How the free consultation works
It happens online, it costs nothing, and you don’t need an account.
- 1
You fill in the form
One short form: your name, your email and what you want help with. Your request comes straight to me.
- 2
We talk online
I’ll email you to set up a free consultation. I coach online, so it doesn’t matter where you live.
- 3
You decide
If you want to keep working together, I’ll tell you my price first. Saying no is fine.
30-second version
Coach vs matchmaker in 30 seconds
| Dating coach | Matchmaker | |
|---|---|---|
| What they do | Help you change how you date | Search, screen and introduce people to you |
| What you do | The dating, with homework | Show up to the dates and give feedback |
| Best for | Patterns, nerves, profiles, boundaries | Busy people who want someone else to search |
| Won’t do | Find you a partner | Fix why the last five went wrong |
| Cost | Dating coach cost | Professional matchmaker cost |
Still torn? Read the full matchmaker vs dating coach guide, or take the quiz.
60-second quiz
Coach or matchmaker?
Start with a matchmaker.
You want someone else to do the searching and you have the budget for it. Treat it like the luxury service it is: ask for references and a written refund policy before you pay. Read what a professional matchmaker costs and the matchmaker contract checklist first.
Start with a dating coach.
You want structure and someone to keep you honest, and you'd rather not spend matchmaker money to find out what's working. Read what a dating coach costs and bring these questions to ask a dating coach to the first call.
It's close, so try the cheaper one first.
A few coaching sessions will tell you a lot before you sign a long matchmaking contract. Here's the full matchmaker vs dating coach breakdown.
Want to talk it through? Get a free consultation with me ·
Price check
What it costs
These are published prices, each with the date I checked it.
- $75–$170One 45-minute dating coach session, depending on the coach’s levelA coaching practice’s published price · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- $1,200Four coaching sessions over three monthsA coaching practice’s published package · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- $1,695/moStarting monthly price for a matchmaking-style serviceA matchmaking service’s published price · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
- 3 daysBusiness days New York gives you to cancel a dating service contractNY GBL § 394-c · checked Oct 15, 2026Read the guide →
Before you pay anyone
How do you pick a good dating coach?
Dating coaches aren’t required to have any specific training or qualifications, so the checking is up to you. Four checks cover most of it.
See the price before the call
Relationship expert Susan Winter told AARP that a price that isn’t readily available is a red flag.
Talk to three coaches
The coaching body ICF suggests interviewing three coaches and asking each one for at least two references.
Check the training they claim
An ICF credential shows up in ICF’s Verify a Coach directory. The entry-level one, the ACC, takes 60+ hours of training and 100+ hours of coaching.
Get the terms in writing
Ask for the price, the number of sessions and the refund rule in one document before you pay.
Sources: AARP, ICF guide, ICF credentials · checked Oct 20, 2026
The step-by-step version is in how to find a dating coach, and you can print the questions to ask a dating coach for your first call.
From my notebook
Fourteen years of dating, written down so you can skip a few chapters.
Ghosted
Six weeks. I met his friends. Then silence, then a thumbs-up three days later.
“Closure is something you build, not something you get.”
The apps
Forty micro-decisions a day. I deleted them for six months and my personality came back. Now: 15 minutes a day, no swiping after 9 p.m., never on a bad day.
“Matches aren’t the bottleneck. Attention is.”
A friend’s experience
$6,000 for a six-month matchmaking package. Four introductions. No refund, because the contract allowed substitutions, not refunds.
“A very expensive lesson in reading the fine print.”
Questions people ask
What does a dating coach do?
A dating coach helps you see your own patterns and change how you date: profiles, first messages, picking better, setting boundaries. They don’t find dates for you. See what a dating coach does.
What is the difference between a dating coach and a matchmaker?
A coach works on you. A matchmaker searches for people and introduces you. Matchmakers usually cost much more. Here’s the full matchmaker vs dating coach breakdown.
How much does a dating coach cost?
It depends on the format: single sessions, monthly coaching or packages. I list published prices, with the date I checked each one, in dating coach cost.
Are dating coaches legit?
Some are great and some sell tactics that game people. Ask for a written price, a refund policy and what a session actually covers. Here are the red flags.
Are dating coaches worth it?
They can be if you have one clear goal, will do the homework and can pay without stress. They’re a poor buy if you want someone to find dates for you, because that’s a matchmaker’s job. More in is a dating coach worth it.
Do dating coaches need a license or certification?
No. Dating coaches aren’t required to have any specific training, so ask what a coach has and check it. An ICF coaching credential can be looked up in ICF’s online directory, and a therapist’s license on your state board’s website.
Is the consultation really free?
Yes. My first consultation is free and online, and you don’t have to keep going after it. If you want to work together after that, I’ll tell you my price before you pay anything.
Where do the prices on this site come from?
From each provider’s own published pages or a dated news report, along with the date I checked. My own stories are labeled as my experience. More in my editorial policy.